Happiness is being unhappy in a community
Happiness is community
A meme is an illocutionary act
We are not what we are
Linguistically, hopeless is not the absence of hope
Everything you do has already been done
Whatever you are doing at this precise moment, chances are you are wasting your time
We have to overdo everything in order to know when to stop.
Social policy that discourages young parents contributes to the breakdown in society
You have to have been there to care
Life only seems fast and hectic when you try to slow down
The police pay tax on petrol
True crime prevention is undesirable
Crime prevention is possible only on a genetic basis
Wanting to live in another country because immigrants have ruined this one, is an irony that no one else seems to see
Nationality is only a name
Describing myself as English is the only thing that defines me as being English
Learning is biological
Only the imperfect demand perfection
The rights of the individual should not be placed above the rights of the community
Learning is pretending
Life is a path and you need to keep your eyes open to avoid the cracks
A student's experience is limited only by its teachers' ambition
Mothers' Day is about remembering; Fathers' Day forgetting
Things get their names in exactly the same way as people
History is the record of our battles to form communities
The urge to buy new things or to travel is motivated by the same desire
Technology deconstructs the boundaries between human and not human.
I have never doubted my own importance
6 billion people can be wrong
Out of a world population of approximately 6 billion and rounded to a reasonable number of decimal places, the percentage of people who think I am important is zero
Cosmetic surgery makes us less human
Clicking on "NEXT BLOG" is a cry for help
Germans know the shape of their country as clearly as we know the shape of ours
Religion is a porn
Porn is a religion
All churches are theme parks
He may not exist, but the power of God is still awesome
Criticism is never constructive. It is simply that some people are able to turn criticism into a positive
The more autistic I allow myself to become, the more the world makes sense.
I always wanted to be alone.
What we want is rarely what we need; rarely what is good for us.
You have been so very good for me.
I have lived on Tennyson, Victoria, Church and Turner streets
Never underestimate the influence of history
It's still a man's world
A man with a body to die for will probably live longer than expected
A woman with a body to die for, will probably die for it
The length of just one second varies according to your age
By definition, things that run like clockwork, don't run like clockwork
The longer things run, the more they lose direction
Seeing is believing
Striving for a comfortable life is striving for a flatline
When I think of Christmas, I can't help wondering why we don't have a special holiday to celebrate the birth of Snow White.
When I watch football I long to be a footballer.
I would have liked to have formed a White Stripes tribute band. I would have called them The Shite Wipes.
I find the word governemtn really difficult to type at any speed
The number 356 is rarer than both 355 and 357
Sometimes governments get things right
Describing myself as a teacher describes every particle of my being
I am a teacher
I used to say I teach, rather than saying I am a teacher because I wanted to be more than just a worker
Wet shave your head at least once in your lifetime
Some children, even if they have a loving, heterosexual pair of middle class parents who read to them every single night, attend parents' evenings and have an annual family membership to the National Trust, will not attain the targets set them by government
Children don't attain government targets just because they are set
Getting drunk is a symptom of an illness, not the illness itself
Not everyone drinks to get drunk
People don't drink because it is available
People don't drink because it's cheap
Abusing your own body is harmful but not illegal
Being good doesn't guarantee success
Failure doesn't mean you are bad
Bad people fail. Eventually. Always.
Shopping is the product
There is no cure for death
Watching a child cry can be pleasurable
Hearts don't break
We are the perception of ourselves
Cutting yourself can sometimes take away the pain
How you feel about yourself shapes how others feel about
We throw away countless things that we once
Elvis sounds like an Elvis impersonator
Having a religion is a disability
Something experienced on television is not experienced at all
When one thing goes wrong it doesn't mean another one will
Without doctors, people die younger. Without teachers there are no doctors
You can't ever save a life; you can only defer death
If you are an addict, the treatment you receive will depend upon the drug to which you are addicted. If we applied the same logic to other illnesses, then people with lung cancer would be imprisoned but people with skin cancer would all go out on a Friday night for a sunbed
Addiction to one drug will lead to prison. Addiction to another will make you one of the crowd.
Getting drunk on a Friday is not as bad for your health as getting drunk on a Tuesday
You become a new person once something is said
Forgetting is a matter of choice
The people we know best will always have the capacity to surprise and appall
The Internet can be pared down to 5 favourites
The promise of a loving kiss can move you to commit any crime
I can't know who I am while I'm worried about who you are
You have to be strong to let a kiss chain you
We are all disabled
Inability is disability
As soon as someone is better than you, you are disabled.
The space we occupy dictates who we are
Species evolve beyond perfection
Species evolve beyond protection
Evolution is a revolver
Species degenerate
Most of what we learn we already know
Gifts take
The word boring is meaningless. It is merely used by the lazy to describe something else.
The things that can change the world for the better have all already happened
As with ants and wasps, most humans are workers
A Freudian strip is much more revealing than a Freudian slip
You can tell lies but not truths
Beauty has to be learned
Truth: Don't look for it, make it
The memory of an event is the reality of an event
Truth cannot be handled
Truth is more than one thing
Bigger is not better... but it is more important
Personal gifts are personal colonialism
New is very easily confused with better
Plants have had a greater impact than people on the planet
We share experiences but what we experience can not be shared
Small communities will shrink to nothing
1 person on the Internet can't say anything important
Total agreement between people is impossible
The Internet is a feminine space, spoiled by men
Where you were born is more significant than who you were born to
Being born in Europe is more significant than who my father is
Being asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, is being asked to achieve the impossible
Being asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, is being asked to lie
Truth is not law
When society says that something is bad for you, they actually mean something is bad for society
The concept of god doesn't provide answers, it merely imagines life as a question
Sometimes a bad copy is a better copy
Copying is imitation not cheating
You are the only person with true authority over yourself
Mantras are hypnotic
You may tell the story of your life, but your life is not a story
Seeing is not believing
People who believe in God may be right
State education is the process of forgetting
Wealth does not equal success
Indoctrination is fundamental to parenting
Change happens in people's minds
The shortest distance between two points in time is not the only distance between two points in time
Symbolism begins with imagination
Communities take power from individuals and give it to the species
God is the equivalent of the mathematical term x
The desire to live forever is natural but not universal
The desire to live forever is biological not spiritual
The desire to live forever is not a justification for religion
Nothing can be better than something
More but less often, is better than less more often
Being first is not the same as winning
Truth and fiction are like chickens and eggs, only worse. At least with chickens and eggs you can tell which one is which
Truths begin with a fiction
Fictions begin with a truth
The tastes and styles of marginal groups will always be absorbed into the mainstream
The power holders would like you to think that emotional neutrality is aspirational
Suburban living desensitizes you to sensation
Emotions are reactions to sensations
To be precise with words, less is definitely more
Don't do things just because it's your job
When I say, "you", that is different from when you say, "I"
A single reality is finite, but there are an infinite number of realities possible
My reality is not the same as your reality
It's never your job to save someone
In English there is often one word for two things, but never two words for one thing
The sensation of fear betrays a fear of sensation
Reality is not the same as existence
The sensation of reality only proves the reality of the sensation
Asking, "Why am I here?" is a psychological problem, not a spiritual problem
Reality is pointless
Reality is just a sensation
The reason why some people's minds are closed is the key to opening them
Only in their perception are ugliness and beauty different things
Reality is a state of mind
Conform on your own terms
Feelings are more important than ideas
Apathy is death
There is nothing without language
Fire? No. The Wheel? The bicycle, the petrol engine or atomic energy? No, language is our greatest invention
It takes courage to control anger
Thinking is where we exist
We write our own future as surely as we write our own past
Treat the weak and the strong equally
Nationality becomes less and less meaningful the further back you look
Reality is a state of mind
A good teacher has the questions and not the answers
Once started, a relationship can never be ended
Aim to live a deep life, not long life
Never tell anyone to "cheer up".
Walking under a ladder will not bring you bad luck, but it can be dangerous
Masturbating will not make you blind
Talking to yourself is not a sign of madness
All behaviour is addictive
To have self-respect you have to be alternative
To be respected you have to be mainstream
"In the beginning was the word" is true, but it is not how the bible begins
Because the human brain is infinitely more powerful than the human body, frustration is the underlying emotion
Social order comes through submission, disorder through rebellion
The gap between laws and behaviour is the size of societies problems
Selling anything for profit, not just your body, is vulgar
The idea of prison should be enough
Rules don't exist until you break them
Be your own god
God is good means god is an adjective not a noun
Somewhere in time god lost an 'o'.
Always ask yourself, "Why are you telling me that?"
All language is metaphor
Check that you are in control by abstaining
Technology ties you down
The word "sin" is derived from the word "truth". So what was the original sin?
Getting into a stranger's car is as dangerous as climbing on a bandwagon
Language makes you powerful.
You were born to live, not to look after your parents.
Don't get too wrapped up in your own self-importance because in the universe even the big things are tiny
You are addicted when it's the substance and not you that chooses your friends
Terrorists manufacture two things; bombs and racists
Nothing is real? No, even nothing is not real
Meaning is created; It doesn't exist outside of you.
Don't ask what is the meaning of life, ask where is the meaning of life.
Anyone who gossips to you, undoubtedly gossips about you
I don't have the answers
If you solicit for readers you prostitute yourself and your writing becomes pornography
Wherever you settle, live closer to the edge than the middle
Consumption has two meanings. It is both the purchase and use of goods as well as a wasting disease
Shopping is a disease that has to be managed
A simple spelling mistake can render your words meaningless
It's sometimes honourable to lie to protect others but never to protect yourself
Learn to do one thing well
English and Maths are not the only indicators of intelligence
Education is not taught in schools
You wouldn't want everyone to be the same as you, so don't be afraid of anyone who is different to you.
The fear of difference is socially engineered
We are all traveling through time at the rate of one second per second
If you have to say, "I can't" always add "yet" to it.
On a flat piece of paper don't let anyone tell you which way is up.
Question everything
Fat is fucked
I love you.
Cosmetics are made by chemical companies
What you write can always be rubbed out but what you say can never be unsaid.
Don't worry after dark
As a default setting, if you can't decide between your head and your heart, follow your heart.
Regret nothing
Make your decisions based on the information at hand
If you are giving to charity, give first to the environment, then to animals and only then should you give to people.
North is better than South
Learn to enjoy your own company. That way you can be alone without feeling lonely.
The only things of value you will leave behind, are memories and children; work hard at making them good.
If you are always moaning about work, leave. If you can't leave, stop moaning.
Take risks
You are responsible for your own safety
Financial compensation doesn't make things better
Accidents happen
Vote at every opportunity
All language contains magic powerful enough to bewitch you.
You are shaped by the voices you hear and the voice you hear the most? Your own.
It's worth saying, even if no one is listening.
Have no time for religion
Intuition is better than logic
Red is better than blue
Intelligent people are often dysfunctional
Dysfunctional people are often intelligent
Once a day, tell someone how you feel.
Seeing a pattern doesn't mean it isn't random
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate is the same for everyone.
Don't believe statistics
Most people have more than the average number of legs
Don't be afraid of pain.
The pain of true love is well worth it.
Delayed pleasure is better pleasure than instant gratification.
Don't confuse knowledge with intelligence.
Learning is living.
If you wouldn't rent it, don't buy it.
Never forget that old people were young.
Always apologise but never take it back.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Everything you need to know about advertising is summed up in this one fact: New York Bagels are made in a town just outside of Rotherham, South Yorkshire.
Scared is another word for excited.
Eating butter can make your breasts hurt.
If you believe in something you are bound to say it.
To take the path to blind faith you must first put your blinkers on.
Those who trust in blind faith are blind to the truth.
If the only reason you're doing it is because Nike told you to, don't Just Do It.
Remember, when people knock on your door, show you the sign of the cross and start talking about religion, that if they came to the door, showed you a light-sabre and started talking about The Force, you would close the door, gather your children close to you and call the police.
Owning a big, expensive car declares to the world that you are selfish and have no regard for the environment.
You are going to die.
The ultimate achievement of medicine would signal the end of the species.
Watch TV: Don't watch TV.
To feel confused is to feel normal.
When you're ready, other people will come first.
Being hungry is not the same as starving.
Wanting something is not the same as needing something.
However much life hurts, however much it gets you down or lets you down, it is never as bad as the alternative.
Disagreeing with someone is not the same as disliking them.
How you feel about yourself shapes how you feel about others.
The difference between fiction and non-fiction is similar to to the diference between flammable and inflammable.
If someone says, "Follow me", you don't have to go.
Learning to be selfish is the first step on the path to altruism.
History is fiction; that's why the word story is in it.
Ordering, classifying and categorising, being methodical, are all so deeply satisfying, I imagine cavemen lined up their flint arrowheads, largest down to smallest, before they went hunting.
The history of words can make the hairs on the back of your neck prickle.
Rituals are always obsessive and always compulsive.
Funny is more attractive than pretty.
Writing is drawing, drawing isn't writing
Everyone likes a drink, no one likes a drunk
God is not.
If the inner voice says something you've not heard before, listen.
Weakness can be a strength.
Strength can be a weakness.
Sometimes, and only sometimes, it is alright to do as you are told.
You learn more, and more quickly, by being wrong sometimes, than by always being right.
Don't trust reality.
It's not always wrong to sell things.
Flocking and herding should be left to sheep and cows; if it's a best seller, don't buy it. If it's busy, leave. If it's common, reject it.
American foreign policy is analogous to Victorian Englishmen who spoke English loudly and clearly in the belief that foreigners would understand them better.
From the point of view of the authorities, work is a purposeful distraction from living the life you really want.
French is just English in another language
Atheists are right to hope they lived a good life.
Saying "I Believe..." is not the same as saying hearts are trumps.
Curtains are not as important as you once thought they were.
The phrase "throw it away" is nonsense - there is no 'away', only alternative somewheres.
Anyone capable of blind faith is capable of any atrocity
You should be wary of anyone who feels the need to promote their goods through advertising
Staying can be as brave and exciting as going
Religion is the result of a faulty meme
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